I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
organizing the empties. That sober.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Randomize
