my mouth tastes like poor choices
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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