you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize