2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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