this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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