She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
