just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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