My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
