It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
