dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
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