This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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