shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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