Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
