ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Slut skills are useful in every country.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
