So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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