not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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