Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
