I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
