hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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