I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
