google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
