normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize