When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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