dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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