saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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