Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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