theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
