pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
