I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
