You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I licked your asshole in confidence.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
