Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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