No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
My ass is underappreciated
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
