i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
