she was so not down for the gang bang
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
