i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
