i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize