I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
