so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
