P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
