Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
