Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
