D3 body, D1 cock
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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