That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize