just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
