do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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