Screwed.edu
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
