im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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