You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
