therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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