you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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