stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
