I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
