Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
