how can u be prego again
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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