you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
