the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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