I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You're like the curious george of whores
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Im part way to drunk.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
