i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
