White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
