She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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