I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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