last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
